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A White Gay’s Guide on Dealing with the Black Community for Dummies
Chapter 8: The Sad Professor

I almost had to dip into my bail fund reserve yesterday, after having to sit in a tiny room for 45 minutes with the Sad Professor aka our version of Carlton from the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire, and engage in a conversation on Blacks and LGBT politics.

For the record, the Sad Professor is one those “brothas” and I use the word lightly, who is disconnected from the Black community entirely, except for the rare trips to Leimert Park. He’s what white gays consider to be a “safe Black,” Black men who date white men are oftentimes considered by the gay community to be less threatening than their counterparts who only date Black men. However to me he’s an Agent—a Black face that’s used when needed to try and convince Blacks to support an agenda of gay marriage.

So this Sad Professor is the leader of the Barbara Jordan and Bayard Rustin Coalition, a store front operation for the white gay agenda with Black faces claiming to be a Black gay civil rights group. And oddly enough is also named after two other “safe Blacks” who were involved in interracial relationships? Coincidence? I think not. More like COINTELPRO.

For the record, I don’t care if people want to put their sexual orientation or identity before their race. But don’t try and tell me that because I choose to claim that I am Black before anything else that somehow I am wrong and am less of a lesbian. That’s what you’re not going to do. And I don’t give a hot damn how many big words you use, which by the way is the reason that you don’t relate well to Blacks in the community on this issue to begin with, you’re no more a part of the Black community than RuPaul is and that’s being real. Being Black and being a part of the community are two entirely different things. South Pasadena is not South Los Angeles last time I checked.

Quick! Name three streets in Compton. To hard? Ok, name one major street east of Main Street in Los Angeles.

My point exactly.

And what really pissed me off was his complete lack of knowledge as it relates to the demographics of Los Angeles County and where the majority of Black gays live. He seems to think we reside on the Westside of Hollywood.

It’s really not fair to put me against him either.  Mainly because he’s just not a good public speaker and when he gets nervous or intimidated, which is any time he’s out of his comfort zone,  he starts to stutter and shit and for about half a second I start to feel guilty–that is until he says something ludicrous like about gay marriage being the most important thing for Black gays today.

I am not going to say that Black gays don’t care about marriage—but to the extent that it is important to us, I think we can organize ourselves. I am not of the mindset that we need outsiders to come in and develop our agenda and talking points for us. Nor do I think that it’s appropriate to be passing yourself off as chocolate when you’re really carob—that fake shit.

Some people just don’t get, can’t get, and won’t get it. I give you the Sad Professor.

BTW, if that conversation ever reaches the light of day and is aired, I’ll let you know, lol.  It’s a good one!

I’m from the ghetto homey
I was raised on bread and bologna
You can’t come around here ’cause ya phony
Now keep it movin, move around, get off me
Now keep it movin, move around, get off me