The following is a letter and a response from the Advice Chick published earlier this week on the Electronic Urban Report:
Dear Advice Chick,
I listen to you every Wednesday on 102.7 FM and my question is; is it always true that if a man never wants to stay at home or take you out that he is cheating?
Advice Chick replies,
If a man is never home, and rarely takes his so-called lady out there is a problem. If he’s not home, and “we’re” not out together, who is he out with? In these down-low infested times, spending too much time with “his boy” can be a potential problem as well. So …. Is it always true? No. Is it usually true? Damn right. Remember ladies – when a man isn’t with you, he is usually where he WANTS to be.
So, if I go by the Advice Chicks reasoning almost all Black men would be considered on the down low.
It’s this type of advice that continues to feed the down low hysteria in Black America.
Could it just be the brotha needs some time alone. Maybe he’s not feeling his current girlfriend anymore and hasn’t figured out how to break the news.
I’ve said before and I’ll say it again.
We created the down low.
The “down low” exists because of every deprecating and hateful comment ever made about gays in the workplace, at the dinner table, in line at the grocery store, at the nail shop, on the courts and everywhere else.
For every sissy, faggot, bull dagger, batty boy and sodomite that fell off of someone’s lips within earshot of others, another person pushed themselves deeper and deeper into the closet.
The Advice Chick is just feeding into the hysteria and misinformation about down low and further feeding the stigma that continues to plague Black men, same-gender loving and heterosexual.