Talk about a bad time to go through a relapse. Why this shit couldn’t have happened after Dinah Shore I do not know.

Okay so Dinah Shore Weekend will be here in two weeks and counting and I am in the process of trying to kick my fast food habit, again. Damn Ronald and those French fries of his to hell!

Since I last checked on my weight loss I was all gung ho on dropping a good 15 pounds before Dinah Shore and I have to say the way things are going, that ain’t happening, lol. But, I’m not going to give up just yet. I have two weeks to make some sort of a dent in this body of mine.

I think total, I’ve gained like 15 pounds. I’ve lost about 5 of those pounds and have ten to go to get back to my weight I was which was around 163 pounds. Thanks to an unhealthy combination of work and stress, it was so easy to gain those 15 pounds that it seemed like it happened overnight.

While I am not at all happy about it, I am trying my best not to get into a funk about it, because that only makes it worse and sends me to the drive-thru which I swore off…again.

I mean I still play tennis, not as much as should though. I still train with my coach Monday through Friday but I don’t play as much on the weekends anymore. I hit the court last Saturday and it actually felt good. I am going to try and hit the court every weekend leading up to Dinah Shore.

Hiking. Yes, I still hike on Sundays. That’s something I haven’t stopped doing. I’ve missed very few Sundays. I get in and I get out. I try to go as early a possible, like around 8 a.m. What I need to do is convince myself to go back to getting out there in the evenings now that we’ve switched over to Daylight Savings. If I can hit it at least twice during the week, coupled with my tennis and now 2 mile walk before tennis each day, I might, and this is a stretch, might be able to get back down in time for Dinah Shore.

I’ve got a full plate over the next couple of weeks. I only hope that I can live up to the challenge. I just don’t want to go to Dinah Shore bigger than I was last year, not even one pound.

And what really sucks is that all of the weight seems to be going to ass and my stomach.

Uggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Okay I am back now.

I’m telling you, this weight gain all fast food. It’s me being lazy and not cooking coupled with using it as comfort food when I am stressed.

I think I am going to have to swear off Earlez and his turkey hot dogs next…

I have got to get this shit under control especially if I am going to do this tennis clinic and hike for Lucy and Gail.

The pressure is enough to drive anyone crazy.

Why? Because there’s an expectation at Dinah Shore. Everyone’s going to scantily clad, walking around in bikini tops, looking good and then there are the perpetual haters. The latter of which I really could give a rat’s ass about—but then I would, lol.

I guess I figure that it’s already bad enough that I am rolling solodo, but you can’t roll solodo and be looking crazy. Uh huh. That just ain’t right, lol. And it really ain’t right to be looking crazy in a tennis skirt! Ya feel me.  Plus, I’m sorry but Black lesbians are extremely critical of one another.  I remember an email I got last year after Dinah Shore and a plus sized sista detailed her horrific experience to me about being ignored and overlooked she felt because of her size.  Now what always trips me out about this scenario is that it’s the femme girls who are plus sized that get dissed but like with males, the studs who are just as bigger sometimes bigger still get play.  Go figure?

Anyway, we’ll see how these next few weeks go. I’m not making any promises, but I’ve taped up pictures and reminders of what the goal is and if need be, yes, I will do…sit ups.

How depressing. I think I got total bumped out again just writing this. The thought of having to do sit-ups is absolutely terrifying to me and I don’t care what you call them crunchies, it’s all the same to me. Physical labor.

What I really need is someone to take my car keys away from me after dark, lol. Trust me when I tell you I am not walking to McDonald’s after dark, lol.

Um, am I the only one out there in lesbianville stressing over getting in shape before Dinah Shore or does every else have it all together…or better yet, just don’t give a fuck, lol and is going roll out no matter how much they weigh, how short the skirt, and tight the jeans.

Better yet…who is going to Dinah Shore. Holla!