I had a pretty interesting week this week. Really busy. So much so I had little time to blog about anything.
I stuck to my guns this week as far as my eating went but as always there many many temptations.
I didn’t make it to the gym as many times this week as in the past two weeks and that had a lot to do with work and just being too tired.
I plan on taking my hike on Sunday before hanging with the fam bam. My little hiking group has just grown and grown and now we have a whole little crew that’s getting together on Sunday mornings. We had to shift our time to the crack of dawn…literally because by 8 a.m. it’ just too damn hot. Last week you would have sworn I was a chocolate popsicle the way I was melting out there.
My self-esteem has gotten a major in the past two weeks. From the compliments I have been receiving in the community from people who have noticed to the date requests that I’ve gotten, I’d say that I’m bouncing back.
Last week when I posted my weight loss diary, someone posted a comment about the weight loss being mental issue as well and no one knows that better than me.
My weight has always fluctuated with my self-esteem. When I was down, I was in somebody’s drive-thru and when I was up, I wasn’t. It’s as simple as that.
I think the challenge for me on the mental tip has been to tell myself repeatedly that no matter how I feel I am not going to eat bad.
And it’s not as easy as it sounds. I love McDonald’s fries, yes I can admit it. And I brake for In-And-Out. As a matter of fact I was out with my godson about a week ago and I was so tempted to go to In-And-Out that I had to literally force myself to keep driving. The thing is, I wasn’t necessarily sad about anything, I just wanted to eat it to eat it. One of my BF’s says that I need to have those days when I eat that stuff but deep inside I don’t believe that I can ever go back to fast food. Not because it’s bad for me, but because it’s a trigger food for me. I go once and the next thing you know, I am going every other day and then every day. So I just avoid it all together to spare myself the pain and misery of trying to kick the habit again.
Okay so even with the amount of weight I’ve lost, I still am not up in the club dropping it like it’s hot. I haven’t gotten to the point yet where I am ready for all of that but sooner or later, I am going to go out to the club just for the fun of it. I can’t say enough I am not a club person. But part of me conquering certain fears is going to require me to go to the club and I plan on doing it sooner or later.
I really have to work on my arms more. My legs are coming down but my arms are not and it’s driving me crazy. I have to really focus on my arm exercises more.
Big ups to my BF Dale for helping me to realize that make-up is not my friend when I am in the middle of a breakout. See, there’s a reason why I most of my friends are Blac gy men, they look out for sista. I reported that my face was clearing up and it is. Partly because of my dermatologist and my Murad Pure Skin® Clarifying Supplement, but mostly because Dale told me, in his own special way, cut the Mac out. Once I did that, it all came together and all I can say is hallelujah!
I’ve been drinking water like I am supposed to be. Trying to cut down on my sugar-free vanilla latte’s at 140 degrees from Starbucks because I think I am hooked. That’s not a good thing, especially when after drinking one I can go right to sleep. The espresso has no affect on me whatsoever anymore.
Okay so getting to the dating scene.
I have one foot on the water. That’s all I am going to say on that front. I am not totally ready to get out there, still pissed and hurt as hell from the last relationship but I am moved from my “I will never date again” mood to “In due time.” What I will say is that it feels good to be noticed and to be asked out. I forgot how that felt it’s been so long.
Okay that’s it for this week. Have a great Mother’s Day and special shout out to my mother, grandmother and surrogate mother’s as well as to the thousands of Black lesbian mother’s holding it down across the country.