***After talking to someone who thought I was PREGNANT in this photo, I have decided to add the words "Weight Loss Diary" to the heading of this post, lest people think that I am pregnant!!!!! Lol.  I am fat, not pregnant, but I can see how the two can be confused. Lol…

No your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you.  This photo, dingy and worn out as it may be (I had to dig out of an old photo chest), was taken about 10 years ago when I was much thinner and before I was happy to be nappy.

I’d been telling my friends that I was going to announce my new diet for some time now and just hadn’t gotten around to doing it…but today is the day.

For nearly all of my adult life, I have been struggling with my weight.  Actually, come to think about it, I remember being in junior high and high school having issues with my weight and I was much more physically active than I am now.

Anyway, here I am at 29, single, and for some reason much more aware of the ramifications of being overweight.  It could also be the fact that I am one of the lead organizers of At the Beach Los Angeles Black Pride and the infamous Beach Party going down in July and wanting to be able to wear my two-piece and not look like Eddie Murphy’s character in “Norbit.”  I don’t know.  But either way it goes, my weight has become front and center for me.

Like most Black families, I come from a family rich with diabetes, obesity, and high blood pressure.  I’ve seen the toll that it’s taken on people I love and in an effort to not go down the same track, I made the decision to get my act together as it relates to my weight and my health.  Plain and simple. 

For the past five years, my lifestyle has never really been welcoming of exercising and eating healthy.  The more successful I was in my career the busier I got and my waist just grew and grew. And where I had been a 12 and a 14 for quite some time, at my largest I was a 22!  I always tell people if it wasn’t for Lane Bryant, Torrid, and Ashley Stewart, I would have nothing to wear.

My biggest achievement to date has been my ability to kick my fast food habit after watching “Super Size Me.”   Fast food used to be a major issue for me.  Believe me when I tell you that McDonald’s used to call my name at all times of the day. 

In the past year, my fast food urgings had begun again, but I realized that I would only want to eat it when I was sad or down and so then I had to work on not letting my moods dictate my eating habits.  Today, I pretty much avoid fast food all together, no matter how I feel.

Anyway, I decided to announce my weight loss goals as another means of putting on the pressure to make sure that I stick to it.  There’s nothing like having thousands of people knowing that you’re on a diet and watching you to make sure you complete your goal.  Right?

So periodically, I will be updating my weight loss and blogging about the different issues associated with being Black, female, overweight, and a lesbian.  From the pressure of going to the clubs, to dating and feeling comfortable ordering more than just a celery stick, to not being able to buy all of the clothes I want because of my size, to having a partner that made me feel like I was unattractive because I was overweight, to the access that inner city neighborhoods have to health food choices.  There’s so much to talk about and I think it can only help to get it off my chest.

I remember co-hosting one of ULOAH’s SistahTalk groups and the issue of weight coming up and how we had such a great conversation about being Black lesbian and overweight.  The women had so much to share and it felt good to just be able to talk about it.

Now for the haters.  Save your nasty comments and emails because they will get deleted and will never be acknowledged with a response from me. But maybe after I lose the weight, you’ll stop calling me a fat Black bitch, and maybe I’ll just be a Black bitch. Lol!

And for the record, Jasmyne doesn’t want to be thin.  Jasmyne wants to be healthy, there’s a difference.  I am not trying to even make it to the single digits, I just want to go back to my old size of 12.  I love my curves, I just need to get them in check.

I’ll check back in regarding my weight loss each Friday.  For better or worse, if I gain or lose weight, I’ll let you know.

I’m also digging around my house trying to find some more of my older photos so that I can show you what I used to look like and what I am trying to get back to.

Have a great weekend.