A White Gay’s Guide for Dealing with the Black Community:
Chapter Four:
STFU Already

At a time when you should be apologizing to and trying to build bridges with African-Americans after exposing your closeted racism towards us over the passage of California’s Proposition 8, you’re at it again.

The man isn’t even in office yet and you are all up in arms over the inaugural invitation of evangelical pastor Rick Warren by President-elect Barack Obama just because Warren opposes gay marriage.

Look—America already knows that you are unhappy with the outcome of Prop. 8…but as discussed in previous chapters, you have no one to blame for that but yourself (Please refer to Chapters 1, 2, and 3).

Instead of denouncing Obama’s choice to invite Warren, you should be hailing it as it shows a continued effort on Obama’s behalf to reach across the aisle in an effort to bring everyone to the table. You know that thing that you haven’t quite learned how to do yet.

If no one ever told you—the world doesn’t revolve around gay marriage. If it did, let’s face it, Obama wouldn’t be the President-elect, now would he?

It’s no secret that Obama isn’t exactly the poster child for gay marriage, and for the record, neither was your Hillary Clinton. However, that didn’t stop you from voting for her or me as a lesbian from voting for him.

And please stop reminding us that you voted for Obama. You didn’t do us any favors, you did yourself one. There is no reward for that. Sorry.

Back Down Memory Lane

It wasn’t that long that then presidential hopeful Obama announced his plans to go on an “Embrace the Change! Gospel Concert Series” tour through South Carolina with gospel singers Donnie McClurkin and Mary Mary in order to drum up support for his campaign.

Well, it was no secret among Black gays that Donnie McClurkin went from being a gay man to being a heterosexual gay bashing gospel singer and preacher. Sister’s Mary Mary made it crystal clear last year in an interview with Vibe Magazine how they felt about gays when the likened them and their gay following to prostitutes and murderers.

And as usual, Black gays had to educate their counterparts of a lighter shade who hadn’t a clue about who McClurkin or Mary Mary were, and that while we were upset about their invite, we were not surprised by it because no matter if we agree with their views on gays or not, they are some of Black America’s most popular gospel singers.

Now at the time, there was an excellent opportunity to bring Black and white gays to the table to address the issue together. But sadly, that never happened. Partly I believe because your precious Clinton was still in the race and partly because your superiority complex dictated otherwise.

If you had sat down and talked with—not at—Black gays, we would have told you that forcing the Obama campaign to extend an invitation to a white openly gay pastor to address a mostly African-American audience in South Carolina, wasn’t going to win gays any fans and only further pushed the belief that whites are trying to push their issues onto Blacks. A smarter more thoughtful choice would have been someone like Reverend Michael Beckwith or Dr. Michael Eric Dyson, both of whom are highly regarded by Blacks but also get “it” when it comes to the lesbian and gay community.

So I ask once again, when will you learn?

Three Funerals and Gay Marriage

I don’t know about you, but I’d think it would be pretty hard to get married if you’ve been shot to death.

Earlier this week, it was reported that New Orleans police identified three Black men who were gunned down in a 7th Ward home. The men were apparently gay, one possibly transgender, and police “believe the three victims knew their killers.”

The victims were all from Mississippi and living together in a home on the 2500 block of Pauger Street. They are identified as Felix Pearson, 19; Kenneth Monroe, 27; and Darriel Wilson, 20. Nola.com reported the men were found Saturday afternoon after the building manager “said he saw the lower half of a man’s body through a window and called 911.”

I know that Pearson, Monroe, and Wilson, aren’t Matthew Shepard or Brandon Teena. However I’d think that in a post Prop. 8 world and in the spirit of reconciliation and being at the edge of each other’s battles, the loss of life of three gay men one of whom is possibly transgender, would be more important than some mega church pastor who doesn’t want gays to be married.

I’m just saying…your privilege is showing and I wonder if they had been three white boys would I even have to say this.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that you have a lot of work to do. You really need to step back and get over yourselves and realize that creating unnecessary drama over a pastor who doesn’t support gay marriage doesn’t rank high on the list for people who are being laid off, losing their homes in foreclosures, and even worse—losing their lives to senseless violence.

This includes criticizing the first Black president before he even takes the oath of office for doing something that you haven’t been able to do, bring everyone to the table.

Take this much to heart…your anger with Warren isn’t going to win you any fans in the Black community and only further illustrates a superiority complex that dictates the needs of white gay men and women are more important than the ushering in of a new Administration and the hope of millions for better days. It also says that the lives of Black gays are still not as important to you as your right to get married.

In closing—and this is the most important part—STFU and go somewhere already.

Now run and go tell that!


CHAPTER ONE: Stop Preaching to the Choir

CHAPTER TWO: Blaming Blacks for Whites Behavior

CHAPTER THREE: Listen to Black Gays When it Comes to Black People…Duh!